Life, Love, and LGMs According to the Marauders
by PrincessMila107
Summary: Life through the eyes of a few certain Hogwarts students...you get the drift I think...
1. Pointy, Pointy, Pointy

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A/N: okay guys, I posted this at Cinescape too so don't attack me for plagiarism! Please review cause it'll make me feel good!

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Life, Love, and Little Green Men, according to the Marauders

Chapter 1: Pointy, Pointy, Pointy…

Disclaimer: I didn't make up the Marauders or Lily or Hogwarts or the Magical World so yeah…

"Miss Evans! Miss Evans! Did you hear what I just said?"

"No," said a ruby haired, emerald-eyed beauty. "Sorry Professor, I didn't."

"Obviously she wasn't paying attention. What do you prescribe, doctor?" James 

Potter yelled across the room to his best friend, Sirius Black.

"Hmm…that Evans sure is a tough one. But I think a kiss from Peter would do it," 

Sirius replied.

Lily Evans stuck her tongue out at them both.

"Now behave yourself Miss Evans," Remus Lupin called from yet another corner of 

the room, "or I might just have to take points from Gryffindor."

People laughed at one prefect fighting the other.

"True, Miss Evans," Professor Bode, the Ancient Runes teacher, said, "You do not 

need to act as if you are five years old." The boys sniggered loudly. "Oh, you three 

too. You're fifteen, and it's almost the end of the year. Please try to act mature." He 

sighed. "Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to seat you four separately. Instead of 

biting and hair pulling, now I have constant class disruptions because you yell across 

the room."

"Oh just be glad Starr isn't in here," Lily said, referring to Sirius' twin sister.

"Yep. That'd be bad…Oh my God! Did I just agree with Evans?" James asked.

Then the bell rang.

"Oh, sorry Prof," Remus said, getting up. "Look at that. No time for homework. Darn!"

"Yep. Better give us extra next class!" Sirius called, running out.

"Sirius," Lily said, walking down to dinner with them. "You realize that by this time in 

the year, he could give us a year's amount of homework in one night?"

"Yeah, but if we fight again—which I know we will cause we always do—we'll stall and 

escape it again."

"You know old Bode. He's the most easygoing teacher we have."

"Mm Hmmm," Lily said, stepping into the Great Hall.

Lily went to sit by her friends and the boys theirs. Unfortunately, they were across 

from each other.

Lily and the others hated it, but it wasn't up to them.

Lily was best friends with Sirius' twin, who insisted she "loved him to pieces and 

couldn't stand a day without sitting by him." So their normal seating arrangement 

was this: James sat by Sirius who sat by Starr (his sister) who sat by Lily on one 

side. On the other sat Jenna (one of Lily and Starr's friends) who sat across from 

Lily, Alli (another one of Lily, Starr, and Jenna's friends) who was next to Jenna and 

across from Starr, Remus, then Peter Pettigrew.

"So how was your last class?" Jenna asked.

"Fun," Sirius replied.

"Yeah," James finished. "We got out of homework again."

"AGAIN?!?" Starr blew up. "That new bat Trelawney gave us loads!"

"Hey, it's your fault you took—" insert snort here "—Advanced Divination anyway," 

Remus commented.

"Yeah, well it's an easy class. Just make up a bunch of crap. And it *can* be 

useful…"

"Really," said Alli, "How was I ever supposed to know I was supposed to grow an extra 

head by last September?"

~*~

The rest of their fifth year at Hogwarts passed quickly with O.W.L.s and whatnot.

But of course, the last day of school was Sirius and Starr's birthday.

The lovely day (for the rest of them) started off at 12:01 am with Sirius flipping on 

the lights, and opening the other guys' curtains.

"I'm 16!" He yelled, pounding down the stairs.

He stood on a circular table in the common room singing "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!"

Almost immediately, Starr joined him. 

Soon, the other fifth year boys had filtered in, looking dead, slumping over chairs and 

couches.

"Where are your homies A, L, and J?" Sirius asked his sister.

"I had enough sense not to get them up with me so I didn't get beaten when they 

were fully awake."

"Damn…good point. Good ni—morning!" And he skipped off.

Sure enough, five minutes later, shrieks of terror could be heard from all around the 

castle.

Starr looked satisfied and went to sleep.

~*~

The next morning, Peter woke up to a knock on the dormitory door.

"What?" He asked grouchily.

"Ouch," Lily said, faking hurt. "Sorry, I was just wondering if you'd like to purchase a 

finely hand-crafted wristwatch. They're only $99.99 plus shipping and handling plus 

tax."

"Lily! I got up at midnight last night! You come and ask me if I want a watch? NO!"

He started to close the door.

"WAIT!" Lily shouted.

"What?" He asked, starting to get irritated.

"I wasn't serious, I just wanted to know if you guys wanted to join us for the usual 

present opening ritual."

"PRESENTS?" Sirius said, jumping out of bed.

"Yeah, it's your birthday…"

"I am so there!"

"Me too! I have presents for you both!" James said, getting up too.

"How *do* you guys still have energy? You got *no* sleep last night!" Peter 

complained.

"Maybe you should try hanging out with us on weekends. You'll learn our secrets…"

"I'd rather not. I like making it to class on Mondays, thank you."

"Whatever Pete, Buddy. You can go to sleep if you want. You just have no idea what 

you're missing out on."

They paraded down to the common room. 

"Happy birthday Stella Annelise!" Sirius called.

"WHAT have I told you about calling me by my full name Sirius?"

"…Not to call you that? But what about special brother privileges?"

"More like special mental case privileges. And that only allows you to call me that 

when it's not a week day, not Sunday, when we aren't in public, when it's before noon, 

and after 11:30!"

"So…I'm only allowed to call you by your REAL name on Saturdays between 11:30 

and noon?"

"When we aren't in public."

"Oh sorry—that's stupid!"

"Hey! You're the one that came up with my nickname. Use it!"

"Sorry 'Starr Almighty.' Happy birthday anyway."

He hugged her and they did their 'secret handshake.'

"Okay…It's time to start the holiday'l (A/N: Kind of like annual, just—every holiday?) 

Present Opening Ritual," James announced. "It's my turn to be master of tribal 

dancing this time, so let's get started."

Lily, Alli, Remus, Jenna, and James assembled themselves in a circle around the 

birthday kids, and started doing a little skippy dance thing around them, chanting, 

"Go Black twins, it's your birthday, we're gonna party like it's your birthday, we're gonna sip bacardi like it's your birthday and you know we don't give a FOOT that it's 

your birthday!"

As they continued to chant, James spoke. 

"And the first present of Starr's new life as a sixteen year old is opened…"

"Crap Lily," Alli whispered, "you forgot the charms."

"Oh, right," Lily replied, flicking her wand.

Everyone else jumped as different colored flames sprung up behind them, and vines 

and trees and leaves were formed from the pictures and notices on the walls.

Ten minutes later, all the presents were opened, and Sirius left.

"Hey, where did Sirius go?" Starr asked. 

"He said something about going off to play with his toys…" Lily told her.

"Great, me too. Look! I got scissors! Pointy! Pointy! Pointy! Pointy…" she wandered 

off. 

"Oh great, I'm scared. Will someone go watch out for whoever gets in her way?"

Remus left and came back within minutes. 

"Where did you find her?" Lily asked.

"On the floor with scissors in her hand. She was poking herself with the tips and 

saying, 'pointy, pointy, pointy'…" He looked very confused.

Just then Peter came down, dragging Sirius with him.

He also looked very confused.

"He was sitting on the floor with scissors."

"Was he saying, 'pointy, pointy, pointy'?" Remus asked.

"Yeah…I'm confused."

"That makes two of us."

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Yay, that's the first chapter! I know it's kinda short but hey, they'll get longer! I hope you liked it! Please Review!


	2. Getting her Goat

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Life, Love, and LGMs according to the Marauders

Chapter 2: Goats

"Stella Annelise Black! Do you truly think that this is acceptable?" Mrs. Black shrieked. 

"What honey? What's not acceptable?" Mr. Black asked.

"Your daughter—more like a blood traitor—is best friends with a mudblood!"

"Mother, she's great! One of the best witches I know, and don't you dare call her 

that!"

"I'll call her whatever I want. Don't you want to grow up smart and respectable, like 

me?"

"Mother, I will never—and I repeat, NEVER—be like you."

"Fine. If this, this dirty mudblood thing you call a friend, is better than we are, you 

can get out. GET OUT AND GO LIVE WITH HER!"

"Maybe, Maybe I will!" Starr stormed out.

Mr. and Mrs. Black sighed and sat down.

A few minutes later, Sirius ran in.

"Did you just kick Starr out?"

"Yes. Why can't she be like you, Steven?"

"My name…is Sirius," he steamed.

"Oh, right," Mr. Black went on. "You at least had enough sense to become best 

friends with that Potter kid. His parents are perfectly well known."

"You're not friends with her too, are you?" Mrs. Black asked.

Sirius just stared incredulously at them and stomped off to his room.

"At least we had one normal child," Mrs. Black said, smiling at her youngest son, 

Regulus. He had just finished his 2nd year at Hogwarts, in Slytherin.

"Mum! Mummy!" He yelled. "Look! Durmstrang accepted me to 'further my education 

in the Dark Arts.' Can I go?"

"Anything for my baby. The only real wizard in the family."

They ate dinner in silence that night, and just after midnight, Sirius crawled out his 

bedroom window. He was going to live with James.

~*~

Starr tramped through the woods, dragging her trunk with her. She stopped to rest.

'I've been walking for hours,' she thought, 'and Flower Child (A/N: the owl she and 

Sirius shared) hasn't found me yet.' As if on cue, Flower Child flew into the tree she 

was leaning against.

"You take after Sirius, don't you?" she asked, untying the letter. 

'Starr,' it read.

'I've sent a letter to James already. I'm running away tonight. Send me an owl telling 

me where you are, and stay there. James' dad will pick you up too and take you to 

Lily's house. (They live really close—we know. We've spied.) 

'I'm sorry, I can't believe they did that.

'Stay safe, and I love you, Sirius.'

She quickly replied and was left to wait. 

~*~

James gasped when he read the letter Sirius had sent him. 

"What's wrong James?" His mother asked. (A/N: (minor OotP spoiler in this note!) I 

know in the book it said that James' GRANDparents took in Sirius as a second son 

when he ran away, but I like his parents better! ;) ) 

"Sirius just…his parents…Starr…help!"

"Honey, I can't help you if I don't understand what you're saying," her green eyes 

twinkled madly, and she swung her long, brown hair over her shoulder.

"Mr. and Mrs. Black kicked Starr out and she's going to live with Lily. Sirius is going 

to sneak out tonight to try and find her. He needs help!"

"That's interesting…I don't think I've ever heard you call Lily anything but Evans."

"What?!?" James was outraged. "My best friend is in serious trouble and all you can 

think about is my social life?"

"Calm down sweetie, I'm working tonight, but if Sirius sneaks out around 12:00, your 

father can meet him by the lake a few blocks down from his house at 1:00. Then tell 

him to owl Starr telling her to tell him where she is, and your dad will pick her up too."

"Thanks mum. C'mere Flower Child," James called.

"Flower child?" asked Mrs. Potter, amused.

"You know Sirius…"

~*~

Sirius stood, waiting for the Potters, by the lake.

"Sirius?"

"James! Brett!" Sirius yelled, spotting James and his father."

"Where is she?" Brett asked, urgently. 

"Three quarters of the way into the woods by our house."

Brett took out his wand and sent Sirius' stuff back to their house.

While they were walking, Brett said, "Drew told me the greatest thing earlier," (Drew 

being James' mum.) 

"Whassat?" Sirius wanted to know.

"She said—get this—James actually called Lily Evans Lily."

Sirius burst out laughing, then stopped abruptly. 

"You didn't, did you?"

"I had…more important things to worry about…"

"Oh, dear Lord. That's practically breaking a Marauder's rule, my man," Sirius said.

"Oh yeah, I can just see it in your official contract book. 'Rule #354- Marauders are 

not allowed to call Lily Evans by her first name.' Yeah, that's so you."

"Hey, I'm only allowed to call Starr by her real name on Saturdays for a half hour," 

Sirius commented.

"When they aren't in public," James threw in.

"Right. Anyway," Sirius said, "It's not 354, it's 278."

~*~

Starr had fallen asleep waiting for the others. 

She woke up, however, when there was a loud crack.

"We have to mark some places so we can get back out," Brett was saying.

"Sirius!" James bellowed, "Not marking like *that*!" Starr had a bad feeling she knew 

what he had done. (A/N: I can just see Sirius walking up to a tree and peeing on it…) 

"See? Break branches and stuff. Like this," there was another crack.

Starr's head snapped up and she saw them rushing toward her.

She stood up and hugged Sirius. 

"Are you okay?" he asked.

She nodded. 

"I'll send your stuff home, and disapparate. You guys can walk home, I know you want 

to be alone. James knows the way home. Sirius marked it anyway…" He swished his 

wand and her stuff was gone, then disappeared with a pop.

"So what exactly happened?" Sirius asked, as Starr started to tell the whole story.

They were almost to the Potter's when Sirius brought up Lily.

"James called Evans L—Li—Li—by her first name earlier."

"Oh my God James! Seriously? Maybe you should get help or—or something. You 

know, the first step to solving your problem is admitting that you have one."

"Shut up. Stella…" James retorted.

"You know what really gets my goat?" she asked.

"No dear sister. Why don't you tell us what 'gets your goat' Hon," Sirius replied.

She glared at him. "It's when people call me Stella. And my goat gets mad when it's 

caught. So don't call me that. Because James, my goat will stop at ABSOLUTELY 

NOTHING to get YOUR goat!"

"Yeah, well that must be one strong willed goat, cause last I checked, I didn't have 

one."

"I hate you! I hate you both!"

"Funny, I thought you 'loved me to pieces?'"

"You're going down man!"

"I'd run Sirius," James started, "I think her goat is mad."

~*~

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Thanks to metamorphmagus, Little-sunandstars, Hazen, and HPswimmer for reviewing! I'll get more up as soon as possible.


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